President's Address in London

Address at 1300 GMT from Conference with Gordon Brown

"President Obama, you've given new hope not only to the citizens of the United States, but to all the citizens of the World" -- Gordon Brown, Welcoming Remarks

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."

The President has just begun speaking...

Good morning proles! This is your president, Barack Hussein Obama, otherwise known as "Big O" speaking. Winston Smith, if you want to get along with me don't go to Washington. I won!

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This morning some changes I have initiated by executive order have taken place. America has now taken its proper place in the new state of Oceana and I, Big Brother, will address you every morning on your computer. A new Google 'Big Brother Algorithm' has been installed in your computer through the Google Toolbar update. Mrs. Clinton, director of the Ministry of Peace, has created a cookie that is now permenantly installed in your computer. Do not attempt to delete or quarantine this cookie as Mrs. Clinton is finally quite content to sit at home and send you cookies all the time.

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Your computer now functions as a Telescreen. I can see what you are doing. I'm monitoring your energy consumption and you'll get your bill for carbon credits shortly. I'm looking at what websites you visit,your bumper stickers and what flags you have in your house.

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Tim Geitner, director of the Ministry of Plenty, has instituted a date change on the World's computers. I inherited SUCH a mess from the previous administration that we've decided to roll back the World's calendar date to eliminate it. We'll take it out of the history books too. We wanted to go back thirty years to catch the glorious last days of the Carter administration but our techs could only take us back to the end of Reagan's first term.

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Mr. Geitner can achieve his goals by the implementation of Oceana's new mathmatical rule: 2+2=5. That is how I'll shrink the defecit in my first term -- the same way Tim figures his taxes.

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But better accounting methods and energy tax revenues alone won't solve our bleak financial crisis [that I inherited from the previous administration]. We all have to come together. Tomorrow morning I'll tell you about the Prole Tax!

It seems Mr. Clinton also was given a pre-release copy of the speech and was very upset that I erased his entire legacy. However all is well now that Mr. Clinton has been named head of the newly formed Ministry of Truth.

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I'm letting him keep the FBI Files [click to read] too!

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To all of you in the Eastern Time Zone, Your Two Minutes of Hate will be provided this morning at 11:00 By Farfur the Mouse, Fatah Television and Reverend Jeremiah Wright, director of the Ministry of Love.

It's time for my Citizen Army to do exercises.... Bob, come out from behind that wall! One two three four... Hey!, you're using your WIFE's weights, aren't you?

Remember, I'm Watching!